Im really confused, what does it all mean? lust or...?

so the guy im in love with moved to california and both me and his best friend have been rather highly effected. at this party a few days after he left, we were both totally wasted and we made out. but the thing is, i've kissed him before (he is such a FWB its unreal) but its never been like that. normally his kisses are the kind that very clearly show what hes planning on happening next, and its about two seconds before his hands are in your pants, but this time it was just so unbelievably different. it was pionate but not in a ual suggestive way, but it wasnt gentle or anything. i've never been kissed like that and i know i've never kissed anyone like how i kissed him. but the weirdest thing was that it was amost friendly, if that makes any sense, like we were just trying to be as close to each other as possible. we both think it was cos we were depressed and missing tommy, but i just dont know what it means, hes REALLY hot but such a man wh0re that no one has ever lasted more than 3 weeks. do i fancy him or what, heeelp xxx